Taking the fear out of fear
A prospective client called and asked to meet with me. During the meeting I asked him what was motivating his desire to launch this new venture we were discussing. He answered, “I want to do what I want, when I want.” I asked if what he really wanted was control. He looked squarely into my eyes and said, ‘No, it’s more than that I want personal freedom, I’ve had a taste of it and now I can’t live without it!”
At about that moment I heard the angels within my head break out in a gospel rendition of ‘Amen, Amen, Amen’ followed by a high five and a ‘now we talking bro’ chant. Liberation. Personal Freedom. Personal leadership and responsibility. Free will. I am a believer!
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. As Americans these are basic human rights. Free is how the Creator intended humanity to live. Free and fully vested with free will to choose our path, our way. Knowing that with choice comes consequence. With freedom, responsibility.
Then why do so many of us find ourselves in prisons of our own making? Why do we allow fears, false beliefs, faulty assumptions, past experiences, old programming, negative people, past experiences, abusive behaviors, substance abuse, addictions, negative habits, societal norms and habitual poor choices to imprison us?
Perhaps like the frog, we’ve been in the water so long we’re unaware of the fact we’re nearly boiled to death or in this case imprisoned to discouragement, hopelessness, disappointment and resigned to living lives that are anything but free, liberated, happy and joyful. What internal chains hold you to a past you’ve refused to escape? What faulty beliefs hold you from the present you really desire? What prison are you holed up in for fear of failing or trying?
The question I continue to ask myself to liberate myself from my own fears and unlock me from old ways of being, false beliefs and socialized norms that restrict my becoming is, “What is the worse that can happen?” I envision, feel, hear the worst case scenario. Then I push into the middle of my fear. When I’m clear I walk all the way through the very worst case scenario and when I do this fear loses its power. Suddenly the chains are broken. The prison doors open. I get to the other side. Sometimes the worse thing that I can imagine happening is death. Really, will it kill me? If so, I might have to reconsider how important this choice is because death is an expensive cost. Is this reality or an imagined fear I’ve made up to keep me from some other thing I fear like perhaps failure, ( death by embarrassment I call it). Other times the worse case is that I will be embarrassed, rejected, humiliated, not chosen, laughed at, betrayed, go broke, lose my home or possessions….Then what?
Then I make peace with the worse case. I Surrender to it. Accept it and embrace it. And suddenly because I’m not resisting it, I’m liberated to choose to go for it or turn in another direction. Sometimes this question helps me to see I was fearful for good reason and that I need to take action in a new direction, a direction that is aligned with my values, priorities and risk tolerance at this season.
Fear dissolves in the light of, “What’s the worse that could happen” And in it’s place I find the faith to pursue life, liberty and happiness- even joy.
Again. What is the worse that can happen? Face it, embrace it, surrender the outcome and accept the fact that you can live with the worse case scenario or you can’t. But don’t for one minute believe you were created to live in that dark tiny, prison cell you’ve fashioned for yourself.
Unmask your fears. Bring them into the light. See them for what they are; balls and chains, thick prison bars you’ve built up to make yourself feel safe and secure.
Note to self. There is no security. Life is constant change. Then we die. Go to the next playing field. So while you’re here. Why not live a life of freedom, personal liberty and pursue the happiness you were created to experience? What’s the worse thing that could happen?
Ask for help. Trust the Creator. Question your fears. Liberate fear and yes believe; you were designed free!
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