photo by By Sultry

Life White-Out: Grace

I always thought I was going to have a third child. Of course she was going to be a girl and of course her name would be Grace.

Well, I didn’t really know for sure this child would be a girl. But I knew there was a third child and it felt like it was going to be a Grace moment or something I was going to be ‘graced with’ as the child was clearly going to be adopted.

Well, life turned left instead of right, as life so often does and well, Grace; the child never manifested.

And still I find myself dreaming of Grace.

And these days it’s not so much an unknown foreign baby smile as much as a LARGE bottle of WHITE OUT.

Yes, Grace to me is simply that; white out. Life White-Out. The only substance which leaves me free from a past of errors, mistakes and short comings.

MY life White-Out is the God died for me, unmerited, absolutely undeserved forgiveness type.

It’s Grace week world wide for those of us who have bought into this life White-Out called Jesus.

And I find myself ashamed really, ashamed that I am so willing to grab God’s Son and use all the life white out I possibly can and yet simultaneously withhold it from others.

So today I am once again down on my knees asking for Grace for all the people I’ve believed needed to say they were sorry, or earn their way back into my graces for some imagined error, sin, or wrong doing on their part.

Grace. I’m dreaming of it. And in my dream I am FINALLY dispensing grace as liberally as I receive it.

Grace be with you-

Pam Hoelzle