It’s been my experience that most conflict is simply a matter of conflicting rules and beliefs.

It’s also been my experience that those who prematurely (premature is rarely optimal in any endeavor) chunk down to the details and minutia (magnify the differences) create and experience more conflict. Individuals who habitually magnify the differences between themselves and others are conflict catalysts.

Don’t get me wrong. I think there is a place for conflict, not all conflict is avoidable. And of course there are plenty of times we need to get our magnifying glasses out and take care of the details, regardless of the conflict it creates.

However, any leader worth her weight knows that if conflict is constant, something is awry. Leaders need to be proficient at creating rapport. First and foremost relating is about building rapport and the tool we use to build rapport is the telescope not the magnifying glass.

A telescope enables you to see the big picture. It’s the perspective tool. The tool that allows you to chunk up away from the details viewed under the microscope or magnifying glass of life. It’s the tool of rapport and vision making. The telescope allows the leader to move away from their limited perspective, personal rules and beliefs and take in a bigger viewpoint.

Great leaders, facilitators, creators, entrepreneurs, communicators and teachers are proficient at ‘ chunking up.’ They easily move away from details to the bigger picture when the situation calls for rapport building. They are adapt visionaries capable of seeing the big picture. They have perspective. They are comfortable at the 30-40,000 foot range. And whenever they want to build rapport or develop a deeper sense of understanding they take out their telescope and chunk up to find common ground from which to relate.

Premature chunking down to the details, getting out your magnifying glass too early stifles possibility and relationships and increases the probability of conflict.

Want less conflict? Get your telescope out, ask new questions, move away from specifics. Chunk up for rapport. And get over being a premature chunker…..):

Pam Hoelzle

Seattle Business Consultant

425 218 5864

Photo credits

photo 1 By greenfa1ry

photo 2 By Mink No real name give