Detach are you crazy? What you don't want me to care?
Are you Implying I shut off my emotions, ratchet down my passion, ignore my primal instincts; feelings and that which matters to me?
I'm good at what I do because I care- don't you get it????
I use to say all these things when people told me I was too attached, overly emotional and well yes out of control…(smile)
You see I am a survivor of Attachment Syndrome.
Attachment syndrome is the unnatural attachment to all outcomes based on the false belief that one is what one experiences.
Entrepreneurs are more often fairly attached to things; their ideas, vision and mission.
Attachment syndrome patients have a tendency to attach to ALL outcomes, results and because of this they find themselves in a continous fight with realit when outcomes and results aren't as they hoped, expected or intended. Attachment syndrome is fueled by the false belief that one is what one does, creates, experiences and achieves. Attachment is a false, an untrue understanding of who one is. Attachment sydrom is the inability to separate oneself from what one cares about, invests in, relates with or works towards.
Women are more likely to suffer from attachment syndrome. However, men don't think your off the hook; I've seen ATTACHMENT syndrome in both sexes.
For years I wore my attachment disease like a badge of honor. I'd even tell people; yes it's just a sign I'm more passionate, care deeply. ( hey of course would roll their eyes and think yes; staying up all night rewriting that marketing plan 7 times and crying when we didn't agree with it-is perfectly normal- yep; absolutely NORMAL!)
Anyways one day it just got too painful. Overly attaching, that is.
Obsessive, compulsive overcaring is not only painful it's unhealthy.
Over performing and over caring about everything I did and everyone who was in my business and my life was a sign I had moved from healthy passion and commitment toATTACHMENT ADDICT.
I finally called my bluff and got real with myself. I faced the fact that I couldn't separate from things because at the core I was scared.
I was scared If I wasn't the project, the company, the relationship or what I had and did who was I?
If I wasn't over the top attached taking things personal, I worried I might end up unmotivated nearly slug like. Truth was at my core I lacked a true understanding of who I was. My innate value. I suffered from low self esteem and faulty, faulty life beliefs. I was suffering from a lack of true, authentic confidence. I had control issues.
I use to think I was in control and I have to admit I loved things to go my way because I liked being in control and feeling like I was the big KAHUNA…WINNER! So you probably know what my life looked like; I was the project, I was the relationship, I was the event, the race, the article; I was so closely aligned with what I did I couldn't handle it if it wasn't perfect, right, good, acceptable, received AND rewarded.
Geez I was unconscious.
Attachment syndrome led me to a place where I spent alot of time 'fighting with reality.' Now this is one of the stupidest things a leader can do but I have to admit when I didn't get the yes I love you, yes you can have the contract, yes your the greatest; when I was told; no I don't love you, no the contract went to someone else, no I want to live with my dad; well I lost it.
Why? Because I was IT!
Now in no way am I recommending you stop caring. I am also not saying lto eave your best game at home, don't play all out, become some sort of mamby pamby wimp.
Rather, I am telling you that the day I separated myself from the results, circumstances and outcomes in my life was the day I found myself; my power. It was the an awakening to PEACE I'd never before known.
I look around and I see clients fighting competitors, roommates fighting each other's behaviors, women fighting their bodies and grown adults fighting with their own false belief, as a culture we fight aging, war, drugs and unconsciousness.
What if we were to embrace what is?
NOt accept it.
Rather stop fighting it. Stop attaching to it personally.
Detached we can choose how to respond in power; separate and yet motivated, observing instead of obsessing.
You are incredibly powerful. Don't let Attachment steal your power.
Yes be Passionate.
Yes throw yourself completely into the moment and Play ALL OUT!
BUT-Detach from results, performance and outcomes AND get ready to go to the next level!