“I’m so busy, I’m too busy, Sorry, I’m busy. I’m booked. I can’t possibly, make it. I’m so busy.”
Busy is the new social status. The Jaguar, Prada, Tiffany of our times. A person’s calendar, social postings, social transactions, friends ( they’ve never met or engaged with) are the new capital. We’ve evolved, reached the next stage of enlightenment; thrown out our materialistic possessions for a life of doing and staying busy.
I agree with Ryan Meeks, ( his wife termed the word I-hole; don’t you love it) I’m sick of busyness. For years I’ve suffered from what I’ll admit has been an addiction to busyness, doing, and constant action. I always dismissed my addiction as nothing more than high energy, small business, an entrepreneurial life style and my extroverted personality. But no, it was much more than that, it was a cover up, makeup concealing my need for attention, approval, to validate my existence and prove my self worth and dare I admit my weak attempt at looking for love in work.
I’ve come to see my addiction to busyness, my being a social tool, and an I-hole ( someone who takes phone calls, checks emails, engages on their mobile apps while with other human beings) like all addictions. Deadly.
Any activity I engage in repeatedly, that gives me a short term ‘high’ AND harms me emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially or mentally in the long term, is nothing more than an addiction, compulsion; a form of ‘aholism.’ Let’s be real; activities and behaviors that are beneficial in the short term and in the long term dangerous, in-congruent with who we are or who we want to be are just ways of filling the void in our lives, of making up for something we crave, long for, or that is missing!
Derivatives were a form of banking ‘aholism.’ Second mortgages are a form of mortgage ‘aholism.’ If botox and breast augmentation are found to shorten women’s lives then these activities will fall into the ‘vanity’ aholism category. Food addictions are foodholism. Shopping yourself into debt is shopoholism. Over scheduling, being too busy, and socially over- leveraging myself is emotional, physical and relational ‘aholism.’
Don’t buy into the lie. More food, clothes, bigger lips, more friends on face book or a busier schedule is not the answer to a happier more meaningful life. You can’t buy meaning. You can’t schedule happiness. You can’t earn something you already have. Yes, already have. You don’t have to find or earn your value and neither do I. Social capital might be all that and more but believe you me it’s not the answer to meaning and purpose. You and I need to get comfortable with ‘being’ valuable not merely ‘doing’ or chasing value.
Life is full of choices. I have a limited amount of resources and energy. So before I race ahead, pull out my phone in front of another incredible, miraculous human being, schedule myself like a social tool, pursue social capital as makeup to cover up what is missing in my life; it’s time to ask a few questions.
Are you addicted to work? Busyness?
Are you happy, fulfilled?
How is the pace of your life impacting the quality of your your relationships?
What are the quality of your decisions?
Are you making short term decisions that are unhealthy for you financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically or mentally?
Do you have a sense of apathy or excitement about life, your business?
What makes you say yes? And what do you say no to?
What do you really want? And why?
How much solitude and rest do you get; why?
Is what you’re investing your time, emotions, finances, intellect and talents into; congruent with what you value?
Are your relationships fatigued?
Is your spirit soaring or running on empty?
I’ve been addicted to speed. I’ve lived life as a 100 yard dash. I’ve falsely believed life was a race to prove, earn, become and achieve. I was deceived. I’ve been an I-hole, a social tool and an achievement, doing ‘aholic.’ It sucked the marrow out of me, I nearly didn’t make it out alive.
Call me recovering, but call me changing.
I’m waving the white flag. I’ve come out of the social tool, I-hole, busyness aholic closet because what I really, really want is a deeply meaningful life that allows me to invest deeply, to engage meaningfully in purposeful and profitable relationships and activities that make my heart soar, are congruent with what I believe and that positively impact those I love and serve.
I want a life of relationships not transactions.
I want to live a life of being not just doing.
I don’t need anymore social makeup to conceal what I truly desire.
I want to embrace the concept of Sabbath as a way of life not a mere day.
You see we get to choose….
I don’t want to be a social tool, an I-hole or a busy ‘aholic’
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