It really doesn’t matter what BP say’s does, it? The truth is seeping onto our shores and killing our wildlife.

The other day I posted the statement, ‘Your words mean little when your actions are screaming so loudly” on Facebook and was surprised by the amount of responses. It struck a chord with my friends. As it did with me when I first murmured it. Personal integrity is the oxygen of relationships.

You see I’ve both screamed actions that communicated 1,000 word’s I didn’t intend and I’ve been on the receiving end of actions that cut through my life like a butcher knife. Actions that damaged my ability to trust another the same way BP’s actions have damaged our environment.

Incongruence. A lack of integrity it’s toxic because it kills. It kills trust. And trust, well it’s the glue of human relationships.

If you know me at all, you know I love words. I’m infatuated with them, they turn me on and on and on! There was a time when I was all about the words. You see my love language is words and tone of voice. That, combined with the fact that it’s my job to love the person across from me- to do my best work. These operating beliefs have left me slightly vulnerable when it comes to life’s poker players and the seduction of words. I admit for a couple of decades I over relied on words. I became a wordaholic, talked more than I walked. I became a hypocrite, as my actions screamed one thing and my mouth another. Inconsistent; I found myself. Not anymore.

Life poker players? You’ve met them. Right? They are sunglass wearing, baseball hat crowned professionals who consciously deceive others. I was never a hard core life poker player. I was more of a deeply, unconscious verbal over talker.

These days I get that words alone, words without actions are as empty as a keg on a college campus at 6 am Sunday morning.

Integrity is so captivating. So intoxicating that I can’t get enough of it. It taste’s like an apple. Solid. There are no surprises with integrity. Integrity is round like the four-square ball you use to play with on the playground. When you bounce it, you know what to expect and when you turn it over, and around, it’s the same. The ball doesn’t suddenly go triangle, quadrangle or rectangle on you. When you find, integrity it’s like cutting into a perfectly ripe pineapple; sweet and miraculous.

In a world of Enron, Madoff, Washington Mutual, George Bush, Derivatives and BP like disasters it’s easy to understand why we’re all hungry for integrity. We’re all looking for actions that sync up with words because actions impact us. They affect us. Actions speak. When actions and words are incongruent it leaves you and I nothing to bet on. So although you may believe your word is as good as gold it’s your actions that truly carry the weight of relationships.

So what are your actions screaming?

And how congruent are they with your words?

If your words and actions don’t sync up, perhaps it’s time to reflect on your operating beliefs. What is important? Why are you incongruent? Why is there a gap between what you say and what you do? Why are you saying things you don’t believe in? Why aren’t you showing up whole, sweet, trustworthy; ripe fruit for yourself and others?

If you’re covering your ears in an attempt to flee from the screaming actions around you, perhaps it’s time to stop justifying the ripping of your ear drums, life, heart or venture?

Integrity; it’s a moment by moment choice.

My desire is to live in such a way the fruit of my life is as sweet as a ripe pineapple and as congruent as that round four square ball I use to play with on the playground.

Pam Hoelzle

425 218 5864

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Uploaded on June 3, 2010
by lagohsep